Baby Kalae's Birth Story
Waking up throughout the night had become so routine due to pregnancy discomfort that I was confident I would be getting more sleep with a newborn. Holding my newborn in my arms today confirms that prediction! It was last Friday that I woke up at two in the morning for the third time that night, but this time was different. I was sure I was going to go into labor any time; I was about two weeks early from my due date, but I had just cleaned the entire house and finished setting up the nursery and I just knew it would be any day. Contractions were moderate and about five minutes apart and I was excited to finally have made it to labor day! I had some severe nausea, too, which was different from Neila's labor, but I knew some women experienced that, so I wasn't too upset about it. Then I realized it had been about three hours of me pacing in my living room with the same intensity contractions and still five minutes apart... This went on ALL. DAY. LONG. I could not believe this wasn't the day. What was going on with these contractions?! Around five in the evening they subsided and I was relieved to go to bed and get some rest -- of course only to be equally as disappointed when I continued to wake up with contractions at two in the morning again! This time Neila woke up, too, and was determined not to return to sleep without Daddy. I realized around three in the morning, that actually THIS was the day! My initial reaction was Seriously, I am way too tired to have a baby today! Of course, I was also way too tired to continue being pregnant, so I decided to see where these contractions would take us. (As if I had a choice or something?!)I told Jordan that I needed him too, and here we were, second birth and Jordan was just as busy getting ready as last time! With Neila's birth, Jordan was running around the house putting together our home-birth kit, setting up the birth tub, running loads of laundry, he even went to the store for food! We were prepared this time and had all of that set up by the time I was full-term. Little did we know, our toddler would have super-creepy ESP -- she totally knew we were going to have the baby because she would not sleep and she has never done that before. Thank goodness for Netflix on the computer because we set her up with non-stop cartoon watching in her room so Jordan could be with me to work through these contractions (still an annoying five minutes apart!) which were starting to be more and more unbearable. By four-thirty we decided to call the midwife over because I thought my water had broken (it hadn't). After talking on the phone with her for several minutes, my water did break and she was on her way! Today was definitely the day!
Jordan got a hold of our friend who came right over to watch Neila and I realized this baby is coming soon because these contractions are no joke. I couldn't believe how painful they were. With Neila everything gradually came and went and intensified as the time clicked on. This time it was like I had no warning before the contraction was here and it was like I hit the peak of each contraction immediately and stayed there -- no gradual incline and decline, no wave to cross over, no time for deep breaths or visualizations -- it was the most intense, painful, and surprising experience. I thought I knew what to expect, this being my second home birth, but little did I know it would be totally different in every way.
When the midwives arrived, I was so relieved to see them and hear that it was time to push this baby out! I knew I had to be close because the contractions felt like pushing contractions. This was not the news I heard... only 5 cms! Okay, I could do this -- I started crunching numbers in my head... Last time the midwife came over when I was 6 cms and labor was about four hours after that... I got this. Well, here I was, several contractions later and now I knew I definitely could not do this. I couldn't get out of my head; all I kept hearing myself say was how tired I was and how I didn't want to do this any more. As I was saying these things, I knew they were terrible for my labor, that I was only setting the stage for negativity, but I couldn't stop; "I'm so tired" became my mantra! I labored, struggled to control my breathing, moaned, and moved all over our bedroom. I tried everything I could think of -- standing, holding Jordan, on all fours, the birthing stool, backwards on the toilet, on the bed, in the tub -- nothing gave me any relief. "Can you check me again?" I had to be close now because I was uncontrollably pushing, I couldn't stop myself! ONLY 8!? Seriously, that can't be right... I knew even more that I could absolutely not do this any longer. I was so miserable!
It felt like three contractions later, with my midwife leaning over the tub and me trying my best to mimic her breathing to keep myself calm, when I heard the most beautiful thing I have ever heard -- "Where do you want to have your baby?" I was so excited to hear her ask me that question It's time! I thought. I couldn't decide, I just asked her to tell me where to go and she suggested the birthing stool. This stool was different from the one Neila was born on. This stool was much shorter which felt uncomfortable. My knees where higher than my waist and I didn't like that. The shape was weird, too, it just seemed like a bad fit. I wanted to complain, but contractions came quickly and were right on top of each other and I didn't have time. I suddenly became aware that baby's head was out! It was the most familiar feeling and I was so relieved. Even though it was by far the most painful, it was expected and, like I said, familiar, and that was reassuring. Another push and the shoulders were out, another push (and a gentle pull from our midwife) and this baby's giant belly came followed by her little legs and tiny little feet! I fell backwards onto our bed in exhaustion and watched our perfect little Kalae come right up to my chest. I remember looking at Jordan for a split second and having that same feeling: familiarity. He looked just as he did the second Neila was born -- pure happiness.
This was the moment that Neila's birth went the unexpected route and I ended up being separated from her for twelve hours, undergoing a three-hour surgery and three blood transfusions. I was the most nervous for this time. The time that the birth ends and the recovery begins. I didn't want to move, I just wanted to hold our baby and bask in this moment -- stretching it out as long as possible. I never wanted to leave this feeling, holding our baby and feeling so accomplished and proud of myself! The most exciting part of this birth story is that that moment still hasn't ended -- one week later and I am still holding our baby, feeling so accomplished and proud of myself! When I look at Jordan, I still see that happiness and 'the unexpected' in this birth story is how beautiful our two little girls are with each other. Neila is so enamored her little sister and wants to see and be a part of everything with her.
