Lucky lady that I am, I have the luxury of summers free of my job. Before Neila: sleeping in, watching The View, eating a big breakfast with coffee, and generally doing whatever it was I felt like. Granted, I only had two summers like this and the last one I was sleeping and eating and feeling overall unwell (newly pregnant and all). This summer rolled around and I have to say that it was the best summer I can remember. The advantage of Jordan starting his SAHD career this month is that we have been working together with Neila all month. I got up during the night with her while he slept, he took her in the morning so I could sleep in until 8 (or 9!), I'd play with her poolside while he got in his workouts, he'd take her on walks while I chatted over coffee with my friends, I'd take her to baby story time at the library while he was out wakeboarding... the list goes on and on. Point being, we were a team and you could always count on one person to pick up the slack while the other indulged (which may be too generous a word for sleeping, exercising, and socializing).
Going back to work, for me, means going back to guilt. Guilt that I'm away from our precious little one at such a young age, guilt that I am ENJOYING my job, and guilt that my partner no longer has a partner for 9 to 10 hours a day. I guess the task at hand is to figure out how to turn those guilty feelings into something productive... I'll get back to you on that one :)
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
work weight... or is it "work, wait"?
I've been ignoring for quite some time the fact that I will be returning to work next week. Once we returned from camping I started getting my mind prepared. Yesterday I put in a solid four hours (during Neila's naps) on the computer prepping lessons and clearing inboxes. Today, however, I realized the true weight of my profession. I heading onto campus to start putting my room together.
Before I started teaching first grade I thought it would be a great position to hold while you raise a family -- summers and holidays off, weekends always free, and hey you're home before the sun goes down. Little did I know that the life of a teacher is seldom that sunny during the school months. I LOVE my job. It is strange to say it, I absolutely LOVE the late nights, bringing work home on the weekends, scouring the internet for new lesson ideas - all of it. There is something so satisfying about nailing a lesson you've created and watching as all twenty little faces looking at you smile with excitement that they got it!
My first year I easily worked 60 hours per week - and a happy 60 hours at that. Now that I'm also a mom, I want to have both: an amazing classroom and an amazing home. How can I figure out a way to balance the weight of both?
Before I started teaching first grade I thought it would be a great position to hold while you raise a family -- summers and holidays off, weekends always free, and hey you're home before the sun goes down. Little did I know that the life of a teacher is seldom that sunny during the school months. I LOVE my job. It is strange to say it, I absolutely LOVE the late nights, bringing work home on the weekends, scouring the internet for new lesson ideas - all of it. There is something so satisfying about nailing a lesson you've created and watching as all twenty little faces looking at you smile with excitement that they got it!
My first year I easily worked 60 hours per week - and a happy 60 hours at that. Now that I'm also a mom, I want to have both: an amazing classroom and an amazing home. How can I figure out a way to balance the weight of both?
Sunday, August 8, 2010
camp champ
Every year my extended family gets together for some wilderness adventure for a week(ish) in August. Throughout my childhood we would go to a family cabin in Twin Lakes, but the "family" is so far extended that we eventually found ourselves in need of a new spot. Last year we went out to China Flat campground; Jordan and I announced our pregnancy there so that trip was really special for us. This year is even more exciting because we were bringing our new little lovey to share with everyone.
This year we all decided to try a new spot called Wolf Creek. It's a cute little campground with lots of trees, a bike trail, and a lake (well, technically, a reservoir). Neila took the drive well and was so excited when we got there! She spent the first day just looking around at all the trees and loving all the new sounds. I was so excited that she was sooooo content in nature; a girl after my own heart, I decided. Day one, amazing, day two, great, day three, good, but by day four we had one whiny, sad baby. Her dry skin got all kinds of little rashes and started peeling; also, she couldn't nap more than 20 minutes in a busy and bustling campground. At night the temperature would drop super low so breastfeeding was torture! (sigh) It was rough.
On day five we decided we would leave (one day early) and it was feeling like a smart decision because she was just so out of character. This is our baby who hardly ever cries or fusses - it felt like she cried more on that camping trip than in her whole five months prior! So we packed it up and got in the car to come home and I saw something I've never seen from her before: a happy baby in a car seat! Seriously, this is the kid who hates her car seat and complains for hours in there, but here she was happy as can be. She was asleep before we left the campground and was passed out for about half of the drive. She woke up and complained for the last 20 minutes until we arrived home, but then something wonderful happened: we walked in the door, she sighed, and gave us a smile :) I didn't think a baby could be homesick, but Jordan called it right -- sometimes people just want to be home. (even baby people)
Lessons learned:
1. Bringing books from home was a great idea. She would go from crying to relaxing as soon as we cuddled in the tent and busted out the familiar stories we'd read a million times.
2. Bringing crappy blankets was super smart. She didn't spend too much time out of our arms because of her mood, but when she did I was glad I had those gross-feeling, cheap, fleece blankets great aunt so-and-so got us to toss over the dirt for her to play.
3. Three onesies and three jammies are not enough clothing for five days. Sure, she can wear the same outfit two days in a row at home, but camping is a whole other story. Two outfits per day is a closer estimate than two days per outfit!
4. Don't try new foods when you're not at home. I made the mistake of chowing on my dad's famous clam dip on day one... not realizing that I had never eaten shell fish while pregnant or breastfeeding Neila. She (and her digestive system) did not approve. And kept reminding us of that fact - for several days, thus, adding to our clothing-shortage problem.
5. Listen to your baby. If there is one thing Jordan and I always try to remember, it's to listen to our dear Neila. She has it harder than any of us because she needs the most and can do the least. After we started seeing her melt down we began discussing whether or not it was best to cut our trip back a few days, even though we didn't want to. As people, we wanted to stay, but as parents, we knew we had to go home early to respond to her feelings. I'm glad we did; after all, we're most importantly a family of three before we are a group of individuals.
Overall, the camping trip was great. I love our family cabin/camping tradition and am so glad that Neila will grow up like I did with it. Even if it does take a little extra convincing :)
This year we all decided to try a new spot called Wolf Creek. It's a cute little campground with lots of trees, a bike trail, and a lake (well, technically, a reservoir). Neila took the drive well and was so excited when we got there! She spent the first day just looking around at all the trees and loving all the new sounds. I was so excited that she was sooooo content in nature; a girl after my own heart, I decided. Day one, amazing, day two, great, day three, good, but by day four we had one whiny, sad baby. Her dry skin got all kinds of little rashes and started peeling; also, she couldn't nap more than 20 minutes in a busy and bustling campground. At night the temperature would drop super low so breastfeeding was torture! (sigh) It was rough.
On day five we decided we would leave (one day early) and it was feeling like a smart decision because she was just so out of character. This is our baby who hardly ever cries or fusses - it felt like she cried more on that camping trip than in her whole five months prior! So we packed it up and got in the car to come home and I saw something I've never seen from her before: a happy baby in a car seat! Seriously, this is the kid who hates her car seat and complains for hours in there, but here she was happy as can be. She was asleep before we left the campground and was passed out for about half of the drive. She woke up and complained for the last 20 minutes until we arrived home, but then something wonderful happened: we walked in the door, she sighed, and gave us a smile :) I didn't think a baby could be homesick, but Jordan called it right -- sometimes people just want to be home. (even baby people)
Lessons learned:
1. Bringing books from home was a great idea. She would go from crying to relaxing as soon as we cuddled in the tent and busted out the familiar stories we'd read a million times.
2. Bringing crappy blankets was super smart. She didn't spend too much time out of our arms because of her mood, but when she did I was glad I had those gross-feeling, cheap, fleece blankets great aunt so-and-so got us to toss over the dirt for her to play.
3. Three onesies and three jammies are not enough clothing for five days. Sure, she can wear the same outfit two days in a row at home, but camping is a whole other story. Two outfits per day is a closer estimate than two days per outfit!
4. Don't try new foods when you're not at home. I made the mistake of chowing on my dad's famous clam dip on day one... not realizing that I had never eaten shell fish while pregnant or breastfeeding Neila. She (and her digestive system) did not approve. And kept reminding us of that fact - for several days, thus, adding to our clothing-shortage problem.
5. Listen to your baby. If there is one thing Jordan and I always try to remember, it's to listen to our dear Neila. She has it harder than any of us because she needs the most and can do the least. After we started seeing her melt down we began discussing whether or not it was best to cut our trip back a few days, even though we didn't want to. As people, we wanted to stay, but as parents, we knew we had to go home early to respond to her feelings. I'm glad we did; after all, we're most importantly a family of three before we are a group of individuals.
Overall, the camping trip was great. I love our family cabin/camping tradition and am so glad that Neila will grow up like I did with it. Even if it does take a little extra convincing :)
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